I never knew a woman could hurt like you must feel, For a moment I stop and I feel out of myself. As myself I finally feel real Like a dream that was never supposed to be.. like a flash of lighting in my mind I saw myself living in your very eyes. and only how you knew what your pain felt like. For a minute I was you there crying Alive but really dying like de ja vu. But I yet I knew.
I heard you saying I wanted to die but I didn't know how... There must be something bigger than the now. I missed my mommy and my daddy too. There was someone coming my way. Tugging at my hips There was a cold feeling on his lips As a shadow took my sunshine away The statue of the enchantress felt icy still I never met a woman who could hurt as much as you must feel.
To see such glee, is far too much for me. For woe and want is much for wavering, this bard is far too hard to not; Consider some Irish lim-er-ic Hur-ah
To hear such joh, is far too good to me. For song and dance is much for tinkering. This tap is fast; and snap! To see such Moving prom-en-ade-Hur-ah
I had a dream last night... You were with me... I have never met you... But if meeting you would be this way... Nothing wrong could come of it...
I had a dream... Here I will leave out your name... Because slowly you will understand... What you read is beautiful... As long as you don't know it's for you... Then you will not misunderstand...
I had a dream... Last night you and I were on the couch... Long end of the day... I was on the outside... Squeezing you on the inside of the couch... We fit perfectly... Warm as two could be...
I had a dream... You and me... Wearing t-shirt, socks and jeans... But feeling tired of being in clothing all day... You unbuttoned your jeans for me... Not to invite me in physically... But with a mutual understanding... To just be more comfortable...
And I followed suit... We lay there both still wearing t shirts and underwear... Not interested in the lack of clothing or the addition of skin... Just happy to have each other... In the perfect state we were in...
I put my arms around you and closed my eyes... In my dream we drifted away... Happy to sleep, sleeping with a smile... Knowing we would sleep better for the next day...
In my dream when the sun came up... We woke just as we fell asleep... Warmth of each other on our faces... I kissed you politely on your lips... I noticed the perfume of your skin... And the way your dark long hair covered your eyes...
Yet still we had each other... Nothing wrong came of it... Trust became love... My dream would come true... If only I could have you...
Until that day... I had a dream... Of a woman I know...
I leave it unfinished... out of the same satisfaction... of staying dressed at night... These words are left... without a name behind them...
Yesterday morning.... Pots and pans my headset medley You walk in and laugh to see my percussion set Made out of cast iron and pampered chef I'm 27 and acting like 3 years old! Surprise me with your poloroid! Myspace here I come! The best part is me wearing only boxers sitting on the kitchen floor Pretending I'm Neal Pert or someone cool like him!
Just out of highschool... Drunken with oreos Milk spilling on the floor Not a mop in sight Way too much sugar for going around Way too much fun for one college guy in a town. We are like kids chasing around at Toys R Us And the fun is all mine!
Just old enough to cross the street... Old Atari console a spiderweb of cords and one game pack that doesnt fit the slot Dad used a screwdriver to chock the plastic case off He uses the cover as an ashtray for peanuts and squares
Staying at dad's house... Waking up after Friday band night Dad's guitar equipment rigs left out and plugged in Beer cans decorate the window like aluminum Christmas candles And the microphones lined up with the Fender Jazz looks as good as any Musical Christmas morning a kid could ask for. Daddy was a rockstar, momma was a Lancome model Baby Joe bounces on his plastic horsey with a diaper and a stocking cap on.
Welcome to me as a kid. Hope you enjoyed your stay! Don't forget to hang out with your fern garden and find Aunt Margret dressed as a clown on your 7th birthday. The best part being you and your 5 friends being sternly told not to pull the "colored scarves out of her costume" as this was "clown underwear and how clowns hate to have to chase after their twenty foot pull when kids come by to steal!"
1. My car was stolen. Someone broke into my van and stole it two nights ago. I have no transportation to work. I have been borrowing rides from friends at church for the time.
2. Gas Disconnected - Because I was left with the bills when stephanie moved out I had to pay almost 500 dollars extra expenses that went unpaid because Stephanie did not pay her half of responsibilities. Until two days ago I was boiling 4 or 5 pots of water from the stove top range and filling up the tub to mix with cold tap water and get a luke warm sponge bath to get clean.
Stephanie went to florida and laid out on the beach with her brand new 300 dollar cell phone getting a tan during this time.
Her grandma told me that I would have to take her off the lease and held the bill that she promised to pay hostage until I removed Steph from the lease of the apt as blackmail against me for leverage.
I had to threaten to throw all her stuff out and had a heated conversation with Stephs mom. I have been called an asshole by Stephanies dad and I get compared to my mom every minute. I have been threatened to be sued for all I am worth over the phone
My world is falling apart literally. I am officially disowning Stephanie out of my life. As soon as I get paid I am paying for a deposit for a cell phone in my own name. She has blocked my number and I have been ordered by her family not to contact her but she is allowed to text me email me and phone me any time she wants! The entire family even is allowed to email text and phone me at work with angry messages
She is very unfair and tells everyone that she was the total victim the entire relationship.
The van was stolen less than two hours after my heated discussion with Tammie. Is it any coincedence that I havent completed payments on the van and that I am paying Stephanie's family for the vehicle? It is a 1987 GMC Sefari with rusted parts all over the suspension and acid rain on the hood damage. It had dents all over the car and was the oldest car in the whole neigborhood. It sat between a Lexus and near a 2002 Acura when it was stolen and no other car got stolen. Eventually someone should string together these things as more than random events. I have heard tammy more than once get angry and say she could make "things disappear" when she was mad at my mom a year ago and that she had people who could do things in her contacts and no one would ever find out. That threat came from Stephanie in different ways many times at me too. I knew my place.
I will never contact Stephanie Mitchell again. I will pay her damn 1500 dollars (most of which was dates she took me on and billed me for at break up) and I will never let her speak to me again. Even after all this, she daily tells me I break promises
Stephanie you cannot talk to me ever again in any way. I will never let you speak to me again. You have ruined my life as much as you say I have ruined yours.
This poem actually happened to me. This morning a single strand of Stephnie's long hair was resting on my cheek. I do believe dreams come true and if my heart really does miss her that much, then maybe she became real to me by this single strand of dark hair I hold.
My dream came true last night. I dreamed you were hugging me As you watched me sleeping
My dream came true I dreamed you sat quietlly Watching me on the couch
My dream came true A beautiful woman in the night weeping for what we had
My dreams came true We almost made it together We almost could have fallen in love
BRIDGE:
But almost is never the same as having what you wanted and dreams come true even if it is only a strand of your hair My heart loves you so much that you became real to me I could actually imagine you here sitting beside me Missing me as much as I have missed you and then getting up to slip away before the sun comes up knowing I would do the same for you to keep our love alive and so I hold you in my dreams and keep you a memory A strand hair as dark as midnight is all I have to remind me that my dreams of you really did come true after all
I found this handy application for writing your livejournal. It is a program where you can write to your LiveJournal and really takes the guess work out of posting again. All you have to do is login to Seamagic using your LiveJournal login and it posts for you. It really makes putting links and pics and stuff up on LiveJournal much easier to do.
I thought I was going to have to have a bad day today. You know like one of those days where you drag your feet? I definetly was looking online for something to pick me up in the Yahoo Daily News. I'm not sure I can feel too bad after reading about this guy who Put his life for up for sale for $2.2M today on eBay after going through a divorce with his wife in London! Talk about being impulsive. Here I was coming down on myself waking remembering that I ate lunch out at Jimmy John's subway shop on friday when I shouldn't spend money.
I think I just needed this to put me in perspective. Breakups are painful, hard but more or less I'm doing okay. I thought I was going crazy, Leave it to someone to always out do you in life.
To quiet your heart. This is because I sense every lyric in here is exactly how you feel. This is all because of me. Nothing is your fault anymore. Nothing at all. I love you.
Hush
by Lori Chaffer
When you feel like the days just drone on and on and on And you feel like the nights are quickly gone
And on the inside your heart is gaping wide And on the inside you feel like no one’s on your side Well, I am
When you thought you could rest, but you found out you were wrong And there’s another need another battle Another one more thing that comes along
And on the inside You hear the fall but you hate the falling sound And on the inside You can’t pick another broken piece up off the ground Well I know
CHORUS
Hush little baby don’t say a word Daddy’s gone and bought you a great big heaven to rest in He’s bought it with blood and put the seal in your heart It’ll give you the hope you need to get up and start again
When all the things you thought you left behind are still hanging on And everything you try to do right ends up all wrong
And on the inside everyone else seems basically fine But on the inside even they won’t let go of the dead and cling to what’s alive Well I AM
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